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Okay. I'm not going to fake football knowledge.

But I was impressed that such a tall lanky feller has got moves like this.

And I'm talking about both his foot work on the field and the robot dance.

That's the move? I heard about this on the radio here. I don't mean to knock Mr. Crouch, but I was expecting something more. Maybe a little electric slide with the robot.

The first time, it was a joke. Then Prince William asked him to do it. Now it's his signature. He had to do it three times against Jamaica. By the third time, it seemed as if he was a bit put off by it, but he's stuck with it now.

Yeah, he's got some footwork, but he's slow, and real teams won't give him that kind of room to operate. Still, his finesse is rather amazing considering he looks like Lurch out there...

he's deceptive, a lot better with his feet than in the air when he was at pompey. the only time he got goals in the air was when robert prosinecki took the corners as he was in the zidane class when it came to passing and could put it straight on his head. he might not get that amount of time and space in the world cup but he'll create space for others....

then we sold him for 5 million and used the money to rebuild the squad that got us promotion. cheers peter!

Peter Crouch = A cross between Timmy from South Park and a lamp post.

he's big
he's red
his feet stick out the bed
peter crooouch peter crooouch