Forkers Central

While reviewing my options for voting in the forthcoming elections, i thought i'd better keep an open mind and review the official Monster Raving Loony Party manifesto.

http://www.omrlp.com/index.php?page=man ... roposals-1

A few highlights:

Terror Passport
Separate Passports for Terrorists: Terrorists should be required (by virtue of law) to apply for separate passports in which they give there full contact details, number of explosives, and time (as well as location) of any plot. This would save time and money in gathering intelligence, and could also help identify the intended ambition(s) behind any atrocity(s).

Jumping the Que
We propose dedicated pogo stick lanes on routes to centres of work

Good Knight
Ozzy Osborne must receive a knighthood.

Guard Dogs
Guard Dogs shall no longer be permitted.(they're so vicious)
It is proposed that they will be replaced with Guard Tortoises,called Shelly.

Politicians are Shocked
Politicians to be fitted with electric shock collars, the type used to stop dogs barking, and shocked every time they lie

Reforms for Firemen.
To help ease the duties of firemen:
The Loony party would paint little arrows on all trees so that cats could find their own way down. and all metal railings, would have a maximum gap of two inches (and no spikes) so that no one could get their heads stuck in them.

Monopoly's
In keeping with Lord Sutch's query some years ago." Why is there only one Monopoly's commission?" It is proposed that we set up TWO independent enquiries to sort out this problem twice and for all.
Also we would make sure that everybody has at least one Monopoly Game ....but only one


A more interesting read than the local Liberal candidate whose key line in his pamphlet is that the Tory candidate lives in Durrington (all of 10 miles away!) while he lives locally.

From what I've been hearing about the current dustup over politicians' "expenses" over there, this might just be the perfect time for the Monster Raving Loony party to step right up!

However, this part worried me a bit:

Politicians are Shocked
Politicians to be fitted with electric shock collars, the type used to stop dogs barking, and shocked every time they lie

Seems like there's a very real risk of serious bodily harm with that one!

Sy "I propose we rename the Republicans as the Monster Raving Loonies" bil

From what I've been hearing about the current dustup over politicians' "expenses" over there, this might just be the perfect time for the Monster Raving Loony party to step right up!

I wouldn't call it a "dustup"; this is going to have lasting power. I've not seen people this angry about politics in my lifetime. Even Emma says the only time she's seen anything close to this sort of anger was the Iraq war vote, which people are also still mad about. They even moved "Question Time" (national politics show featuring members of parliament) to prime time for the very heated populous to ask questions and throw barbs, and it apparently had 3 million viewers watching it live (usually the show is popular with the iplayer/dvr crowd because of the time it comes on).

I'm hoping the anger lasts. I hope they ditch the ridiculous political system they have here in favour of something like the US system (again, not the two parties or the people involved, but the system itself). There's way too much power with the ministerial staff and not enough with the rank and file. They also have this weird system by which they can move candidates around from one constituency to another despite them not having any connection to the community whatsoever. And the person you vote for here really just votes the way the party they're in votes because otherwise they'll get fired by the party...how does that work?

There's been a lot made of the fact that these MP's are being tarred with the same brush across the board and that not all of them are guilty. Today, the Independent on Sunday published every MP's expenses, and this is true. I hope people do the smart thing and get rid of the obvious ones, show a little reason otherwise, and persecute those who have broken the law of the land.

I hope it's the beginning of a revolution.