Forkers Central

i want to play it at midnight when i turn 21 whilst pouring finladnia vodka over my head and gambling online.

oh, and since you mention my birthday, i would like:
* money
* Seven jeans (mine have a hole in the crotch )
* an acceptance letter and full scholarship to NYU and/or Columbia and/or Brown
* a lifetime supply of Kerastase shampoo and conditioner (that stuff is expensive)
* Glynnis employed on my staff full time so that I never have to blow-dry my own hair again
* every godard and bergman film ever made
* rare nina simone records
* a solar or tallk-powered cell phone. the more you talk, the more charged it gets.
* a massage and facial
* a trip to paris
* a pony.

Thank you. Please don't get me anything that's not on the list. You have less than two months, so start working those late shifts.

I got a couple of bucks, anyone wanna go in on a pony with me?

no donkey show sis? Mom's been practicing for months.

i told her i'm seeing her again until she takes out that fucking belly button ring. she's a 65 year old woman for god's sake.

* a facial

* a pony.

buy her the pony and the facial is free...

p.s. I thought gambling online was illegal in the US now

I got a couple of bucks, anyone wanna go in on a pony with me?

I'm in.

i told her i'm seeing her again until she takes out that fucking belly button ring. she's a 65 year old woman for god's sake.

That's no belly ring, it's a nipple ring. Gravity and greedy children have not been kind to dear ol' Ma.

I got a couple of bucks, anyone wanna go in on a pony with me?

I'm in.

perfect, I hope she likes pink.

Just get a copy of Clerks 2, and you've got your donkey show.