Forkers Central

My days as a handy-man are numbered.

The work may be sub-standard, but the price is right!

Short of hitting it with a hammer and actually breaking the porcelin, how the hell do you break a toilet? I mean, in a way that an hour and a trip to Home Depot won't fix?

When you fasten the tank to the bowl, don't over-tighten the bolts. It can snap porcelein like nobody's business.

I've been charmed lately. Ever since I put in the new floors I've been going around looking for new stuff to do. I'm all motivated and it's getting expensive. Before this latest incident, I was cleaning my son's fish tank when I dropped the tank light right into the dang tank. (yeah, while it was still plugged in.) Fortunately, his fish (and I) survived the initial shock but I'm out $20 for a new light. That was just this past week. Days before that, I had the back door off it's hinges trying to fix the weather stripping and screwed it up.

Oh, and the broken toilet came fifteen minutes after I changed the storm light outside. I didn't realize, while working in the dark, that the light also hosted a wasp's nest. I learned that the hard way but at least that lesson was free.

Has anyone else ever had a bad luck/clumsy streak like I'm having right now?

Don't feel bad. My dad made 100 gallon fish tank one time, but failed to calculate what the weight of 100 gallons of water would do to glass (even quarter-inch thick glass).

...And that's when we bought the wet vac. To an eight year old, 100 gallons of water flowing down the hallway is really impressive.

you should buy a TOTO toilet now....with a bum warmer and spray wash

my life is one big clumsy streak. i am just about the clumsiest girl on the face of the earth.

you should try adding more fiber to your diet

I'm being stalked by bees and racoons.

Nothin cute about it.

I'm being stalked by bees and racoons.

Nothin cute about it.

Blame Dalya