My dad...

[ifihadahifi]

is in bad shape. I just learned today he's been given about a six month window left on his life. A year ago he was diagnosed with cancer of the kidney. He took the surgical route and at the time it was the belief that the doctors removed most of the tumor along with one of his kidneys. Late last week he felt pain in the place of is missing kidney and underwent several tests and met with the doctor today.

It has spread to glands and bones and his spine and his liver and his remaining kidney.

I have no idea why I'm sharing this. It's just a bit of a release to write sometimes.

I think now about the pistol in the box on the coffee table. It was his service revolver. The box was marked with his initials - GWE. I was fascinated with that box as a child. I knew what was inside but never dared touch it.

I think about the hairbrush his kept behind his seat in his small pick-up. He has a thick head of hair. I remember having a small brush just like it. I lost the brush along with any need for it a long time ago. He still uses the same brush. It must be over 30 years old.

I remember being mortified when he took us to Six Flags during on of our weekend visitations. He wore hush puppies with black socks and shorts. How was a fourteen year old boy supposed to score a babe with Dork Dad as his wing man?

You know the catfishing picture I posted some time ago? He took that. It was the last time we hung out. My son, my dad and I had an amazing time tossing hooks baited with wonder bread and pulling out those massive fish. We worked our asses off cleaning them later that night. It took much longer than I expected. We were hungry and tired and sweaty. But we continued on silently. He gutted them. I removed the fins and skin. Gibbon bagged. We had never done that before but we made quiet the process out of it. You would have thought we were... well... it was evident we were amatuers. But it was a nice moment any way. We carried the smell of catfish on our skin through the next day.

I hate the news that's been given. But thankful I have time. I have a chance to go visit him over the next several months and prepare myself to say goodbye. I know many friends haven't been given that chance.

And I'll pick up a bucket of fried chicken and a bear bottle of honey when I go down there. He loves that. Honey on fried chicken. He turned me onto it as a kid. You gotta try it sometime. It's delicious.
Hopefully he won't be too sick in the coming days to enjoy it. I hope for one clear mild day so we can go outside and eat it on the banks of the pond. And maybe we'll talk. or not. Maybe we'll see if there's one more catfish in that pond.

[guseldorph]

*hug*

good luck. godspeed.


and i'm gonna try that honey/fried chicken thing.
your dad sounds like a great man.

[katie]

my condolences. cherish the time you have left, though it seems you are planning to do that already. i can't imagine losing my father, it sends me into a panic. i'll be thinking of you and sending positive vibes and energy your way.

[monet2u]

I'm sure those are some of the memories that carry your dad thru this ordeal too. See him as soon as you can and enjoy your time left.

[squeezle]

I am so sorry to hear that Hifi. We'll be thinking about you.

And yes, honey on fried chicken in the bombdiggidy!

[rockfan]

Make sure to give your dad lots of hugs and kisses. Tell him that you enjoy having time with him.

[eebs]

i'm sorry to hear your news and hope you have the chance to add to those good memories over the next few months.

[mr_j]

i'm sorry to read this. it's really touching. but, you know, you've moved me--now make sure he knows it, too.

i'm sure it's a given that you'll want to make sure wee and the boy get to spend as much time with him as possible. is their other grandpa alive? i mean, i never had a grandfather. grandmothers, barely. it's important that they get that quality time....

[zenmomma]

Amazing memories HiFi... thanks for sharing with us, it was very touching and only made me think of how much the people I love mean to me.
Its good that you have such wonderful and strong memories of your dad.

Will be keeping you & your family in my thoughts.

[Brightside]

I'm sorry that you and your family are going through this hifi. I'm thinking of you all.

[ifihadahifi]

I appreciate your thoughts and concern, y'all.

As for my dad and memories... that's a weird thing. He was piece of crap for a long time. But over the past ten years he and I made peace and repaired a broken relationship. It was the birth of my own children that brought him back into my life. And the past three years or so have been even better. It's strange how things work out.